i can't focus on the ss graded leh
anws i got my apptmt at the SFC on 12 may
like finally
haha i didn't know a Singapore Foot care Centre existed before this okay.

and i wished to sleep just a little longer
because we were holding hands in my dream

想問為什麼　我不再是你的快樂　
可是為什麼　卻苦笑說我都懂了
自尊常常將人拖著 把愛都走曲折　
假裝了解是怕　真相太赤裸裸
狼狽比失去難受

this year's sports day is so different frm last year's
and no, i'm not talking about the results
but yeah they're damn extreme too haha

(i passed both add and emaths! :D)

maybe your presence would bring me comfort
but i really do miss you

and i'm going to support you whatever's your decision.

tmr is supposedly sports day
but we have lessons! ):
ss and amaths

isabella assassinated my orange bowl when i was buying a drink! >:(
she decorated my chilli with honey stars!
then she secretly put honey stars in kaixin's and olivia's orange bowls too HAHA
and she dipped her biscuits into my orange bowl sauce
yuckkk

my ear is bleeding! its quite disgusting though
as in i think its quite a lot of blood for one ear to lose
and and and i've my apptmt on saturday :|

theres lit test tmr
and 2.4 plus chem test's on thurs
then maybe i can have a good rest
school's like.. this sickening struggle to stay alive week after week.
(oops that sounds too serious)
see you in 48hours, blog. (yes okay i shall find my blog a nice name.)

maybe i like what i have now
maybe i am a hypocrite
maybe i don't know where i'm going.
maybe i don't need all the maybes.

hmm i guess it hit me like a bombshell
maybe i just hoped that it wouldn't come true as long as i didn't say it out loud
but i knew it all along

why else would i feel so blank and.. miserable? haha

today, amidst all the shouting
i felt like crying, like i had so many times
ever since...
i really don't know how come it turned out to be like this
it used to be my life

i give up.

now when i look back, i feel that i've been really silly
but i think i grew up
be it good or bad, and for now, i just want to take a break.((:
loves!

ahhhhh you know i coughed this red thing out together with my phlegm?!!
i'm still trying to decide whether its watermelon or blood ._.
but the one from the nose was..
I HAVEN'T HAD A NOSEBLEED FOR YEARS! (heng its not watery blood haha)
i secretly don't want to go to school tmr :|

i can see the pot of gold
but i'd rather catch a glimpse of the rainbow
i can see the water trickling down
yet i can't seem to catch it with my hands
i can see your eyes flickering here
like those candles i saw a long long time ago

you know sometimes i wonder whether this is being hopeful or being stupid.
haha person-in-front-of-comp, i know you don't know what i'm talking about!

this afternoon at plaza sing...
me: -stones-
jesmine: eh why you look so depressed?

i hereby conclude that i don't have a stoning face. :))

anws, i felt sad after watching mr bean
don't ask why haha, cuz i don't know either
but i rmb feeling sad after watching power rangers that time in secone too

i've been having funny dreams these few days,
including far-fetched ones like being chased by huge snakes
or getting lost in amk hub and finding myself in a desert after running out
but wells there was this one about mrs koh telling me i had remedial for every single subject too.
i need a dream interpreter!

i keep feeling disoriented these days
like, for example, i don't even know whether i felt happy at all after comp.
maybe it wore out so fast i didn't notice it ._.
and, sometimes, i feel like i only vaguely remember who i am (its scary you know)
its as if i'm looking at someone i know from a long time ago
and i feel like i'm getting to be more, silently destructive or something
or is it scheming or cunning. that's not good right?
of course its not good.

anyway, i've decided to be sensible and listen to ms rockey
so i'm going to pay attention during lessons (this doesn't mean i did not use to pay attention, it just means i'm going to attentive to all lessons. oh and of course this doesn't mean i'm going to stop eating during lessons.)

there's this something that i want to say, but i can't place it.
let alone write it down.
i'll find a way somehow
sometimes i find myself thinking maybe i'd make things easier for myself if i were as toot as i were in secone or something. :|

hello, world. good morning.