Been feeling kind of emo these days, the day-to-day routine is driving me a little off-course, maybe because of the lack of motivation.
Went jogging yesterday around the neighbourhood, and guess what, I did a really silly thing by visiting the old house. Our old gate was still there, albeit looking very very old and rusty. Then I took the stairs down, like we used to sometimes. I felt a few jolts, and then I felt like I was trying to swallow a lump of dust.
So many things still look the same, yet everything else isn't. Kids there still ride their bikes in groups and make a lot of noise, but there isn't a place there for me anymore, cos that's not where I live anymore.
Sometimes we're so torn between what we think we should achieve and what we want to remain the same. You can never let go of the past until you've fully accepted it and felt whatever you are supposed to feel from it, be it pain or happiness.
This morning, someone asked me whether I'm affected. We make so many choices in our lives, no matter we want to or not, no matter whether we like it or not. So many choices we make in even a single day that it becomes really difficult to recognize when the choice is not up to us to make. And so I am thankful this has let me learn when I am not the one to make choices.